January 2025 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Home Newsletter January 2025 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Last month we talked about Retirement Village Bullies. This month, we will discuss:

FUNNY/UNUSUAL THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME

  • When I was married, my rather large husband sat down heavily on his side of our bed. It collapsed, throwing me on top of him. My elbow bumped the dresser that was beside the bed and a musical liquor bottle toppled over and began playing ‘For he’s a jolly good fellow…’ We both burst into laughter and our children came in to see what was going on.
  • I had flown to Honolulu to present some seminars and was shocked to see a 737 plane with canvas covers all over it. A co-passenger said that it was the plane that had one of its cargo doors explode which hit the side of the plane causing a hole in the side of the plane. Ten seats broke their moorings and were sucked out of the plane taking 9 passengers – all of them were still strapped to their seats.
  • When I presented my first seminar for the Maui Community College, the event was held in a facility where the seminar presenter was at the bottom of rows of seats. It was just before the morning coffee break, that a woman in one of the front rows said, ‘Roberta – take a step back.’ I followed her instructions, looked down and saw one of the largest cockroaches I had ever seen fall off my shoe. I took care of the problem by placing a Styrofoam cup over the offending beastie. It subsequently began walking across the floor making everyone laugh. In a few minutes it was coffee break, so I asked if someone had a piece of cardboard to place under the cup to release the prisoner outside. On the third day of the presentation, I asked the group if they would wear their traditional clothing (most were native Hawaiians). They did so, and one of the kind male participants gave me a lei. So, I was lei’d in Hawaii.
  • I was presenting a 2-day seminar in Dubai. I had come early and had set up the front desk – then sat in one of the side seats. When it was time to start the session, the training manager gave a breakdown of my qualifications, then gestured to me to come to the front of the class. I turned on my microphone and surveyed the 30 or so participants. I noted that six of them were males in full Arab dress who I later learned were from Saudi Arabia. I also observed them looking at each other and most of them crossed their arms in front of themselves – obviously not pleased. I learned later that they thought I was Robert, not Roberta. However, by the end of the second day they all congratulated me on presenting such a professional session.
  • At another seminar – this one in Canada, I had taken a step back, forgetting there was a small step, and fell on my you know what. Several of the participants rushed up to make sure I was okay. I explained that I was just embarrassed – not hurt and thanked them for their concern.
  • I arrived in Toronto, Ontario on Sunday to find that I had forgotten my Leader’s Guide for the seminar I was to present the next day. I frantically phoned my son in Edmonton and asked him to find some way to get it to me by Monday morning. He pulled a miracle, and I had it before the class began.
  • I had presented a different seminar in Toronto, Ontario and boarded the Via Rail train that would take me to London, Ontario. It was a dinner trip. I asked the attendant if he could help me off the train with my heavy suitcase in London. He agreed to do so. We made several stops but all of them were at small stations. I finally asked the attendant when we were going to arrive in London. He said we had just left it!

About a half-hour later he carried my bag when we arrived at the next station and the train took off. The train station was closed but there was a light on over a pay phone. I dialed 0 and told the operator about my dilemma. She said to stay on the line, and she would see if there would be another train that could take me back to London. There wasn’t one, so I asked her if she could get me a taxi to come and take me to London. She agreed to do so and confirmed that one was on its way. It took over an hour for him to arrive. By this time, it was well after midnight. It cost me $125 to get me to my hotel. We arrived at about 1:30am. My seminar began at 9:00 the next morning, so I only had a few hours’ sleep. When I got home, I contacted Via Rail suggesting that they pay for the taxi ride. They agreed to do so, but it was a very traumatic experience.In 1993 – a year before Apartheid ended, I was hired to do a seminar for the Kwa Zulu Government. I flew to Durban South Africa, stayed at a hotel and the next morning I was picked up by three Black men in suits. I later noted that each of them carried a gun. We drove for about 45 minutes until we got to the compound (that had concrete walls with barbed wire at the top). The township was called Hammarsdale.

Later, I was told it was the headquarters for the Inkatha Group headed by Chief Buthelezi who later opposed Nelson Mandella after Apartheid was over. We were greeted by four men with automatic rifles pointed at the car. They went to the driver and asked why they were there. The driver showed him some documentation about the seminar. The guard looked up and did a double take when he saw a white woman sitting in the passenger seat. He went around to my door, opened it and told me to get out of the car. He asked me what I was doing there, and I replied that I was the presenter of the seminar. He suddenly said, ‘You’re American aren’t you!’ I looked him in the eye and said in just as loud a voice, ‘No, I’m Canadian.’ It seemed like five minutes passed (but it was much less). He opened the door and said, ‘Welcome to South Africa.’

Many unusual things happened at this 3-day seminar. At coffee break, women dressed like Aunt Jamima served sandwiches. I also learned that the benches the participants were sitting on were slanted forward so they had to work to keep their balance on the seats. At the end of the seminar, I was taken to shake the hand of a rather small man. I didn’t learn until later that he was Chief Buthelezi, and his son had been in my class.

  • During that same South African tour, I presented a free seminar in Johannesburg to a businesswomen’s group on goal setting. I reminded them that within a year they would be able to vote, own property and have businesses. I asked them to write down what they were planning to do to prepare for this wonderful opportunity. I was amazed at how prepared they were. When I returned to South Africa in 1996, I was able to contact some of these women and most of them owned their own businesses. Some had disowned their husbands because they had not progressed – many were still living in dormitories and were picked up by white or black owners to work in the cities. Up until then the men would only see their families once or twice a year and inevitable left their wives pregnant. The women were tired of having to support their children on their own without the fathers present.

Roberta Cava is a best-selling author of non-fiction books. She has written over 70 books that can all be ordered via Amazon Books worldwide. She lives on the Gold Coast of Queensland in Australia.

To order her books: Go to amazon.com then clickBooksand under Search putRoberta Cava(which will bring up all of her books).

To contact Roberta Cava or Cava Consulting, please send an e-mail to cavaconsulting@ozemail.com.au